I carried a watermelon?
Most people would consider lil' ole me to be pretty intelligent. Not genius, mind you, but smart enough to carry on witty, intellectual conversation. I get plenty of practice since I gab all day long and half into the night. I can even carry on urbane prattle or lucid, well thought-out arguments with people I may despise, just 'cause I enjoy conversation.So why in world do I get tongue-tied and stutter-faced around certain people? The brain works fine, it just won't connect to my mouth. It's rather like watching a horror movie - you KNOW that the buxom blond definitely SHOULD NOT run up the stairs and hide in the closet when the killer enters the house, but yelling at the screen can't change a thing.
Case in point:
Funny, Intelligent Person: blah, blah, insert witty remark here, blah, insert awesome life story here, blah, blah, asks question.
Moi: (neurons freeze, make tongue stick to roof of mouth like a dog eating peanut butter) Wowwwww. Cool.
Brain: What the fuck did you just say? I had a great response lined up for you. Where'd it go?
Moi (to myself): I know. I'm sorry. Please don't make my motor skills go away, too.
Moi (to FIP): Awesome.
*awkward silence*
Brain: That's it, bitch. I'm outta here.
*trips over a bar stool*
It's like when Baby tells Johnny she's at the sexy employee dance house because she carried a watermelon in Dirty Dancing. Only much worse, since I can't even form a complete sentence. Horrifying. Ack.
Next time I'm going to pretend I went temporarily deaf, and use hand signals and body language. The telling red blush may give it away though.
picked from the vine by sv @ 6:57 PM
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