Not Very Practical...
...but a damn good idea.I figured out a plan to quit smoking, thanks to my tree huggin' bestest bud. If at each time I had the urge to smoke I got laid instead, quitting the cancer sticks would be a positive, enjoyable process. Think about it:
- great exercise, so the dreaded "I quit smoking" weight gain wouldn't happen
- plum tuckered out afterwards, so I'd get plenty of beauty rest and let my body begin to heal the awful, awful damage I've inflicted upon it. (plus, I like naps. Bonus.)
- MUCH more enjoyable than lighting leaves and inhaling them. I dunno about you, but I'd take the horizontal mambo over a ciggy any day.
- my flexibility would grow by leaps and bounds.
The downers?
- currently, I smoke a little over ½ a pack per day. So we're talking 10 - 12 "self-help" sessions in a 24 hour period. Youch.
- inconvienent in public places (yet intriguing...)
- who in their right mind would be willing to be at my beck and call night and day?
- probably wouldn't get much accomplished during this. besides sex, I mean.
- condoms would get expensive.
- I'd probably have to take up smoking again to normalize my sex drive.
Too bad it's not practical in the least. I could sell it and make a fortune with Crack Monkey's "Go Fuck Yourself Off...Cigarettes: A Guide to Kicking the Habit and Hitting the Big O Simultaneously" (tm)
picked from the vine by sv @ 8:01 AM
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