Fan.Tas.Tique.
All misspelling, capitalization and punctuation intentional.Ok. Got the heels off. The roast beef, provalone, and tomato bagel at hand. Comfy shorts on. Nice buzz of beer bubblies and giddiness. Let me tell you the story of tonight:
The setting: A five story uber club.
The time: Right when everyone was going from a pleasant buzz to a raging binge.
The scene: You name it, from hookers to suits. Completely serious in both regards. Add beer buckets served by tightly clothed concubines and tray-served hors'd'ouerves. Plus music pumped so full of bass that the cuffs on your pants moved to the beat.
The mood: Moving from "swank party" to "swank orgy".
We happened to leave right before the ties flew off the collars and the skirts flew up the back, but...
...bless your heart, Man With No Rhythm. May you get it* one day. (*Either a beat or a clue. Dignity might work, too.)
...bless your heart, Men in Suits. Being the bigwigs you are, you have every right to act as you do. Just remember people are watching.
...bless your heart, Girl in Short Skirt. You know you don't have the legs for that, right? I will admit that you can rump shake and gyrate *much* better than I can, though.
...bless your heart, "It Crowd". No matter how high up the social ladder you may be, no one (women or men) will ever leave a toilet seat free of urine.
...bless your heart, DJ. You know all the right music to get an eclectic crowd of hipsters, trendsters, and corporate VIPs forget their worries and dance as one.
...bless your heart, Guy in Cargo Pants. You have the comfortable, right idea, but unfortunately your girl didn't think so.
...bless your heart, Beer Girl. How kind of you to give me a shirt sized medium.
An entertaining evening to say the least. And that was only about 45 minutes of surveying the scene, drinking a few beers, and deciding that it was time to *git*.
The jazz, shots, and beer served us a much better night a few blocks down. Plus, I'm home without having to worry that my ass will end up on some sort of promotional video.
For now, at least.
picked from the vine by sv @ 10:55 PM
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