Greenville Avenue Friday Night Phun
A reminder of why I don't frequent the local frat boy hangouts on Friday nights. I'll have gooseflesh for the next week. Not all of it was bad, but...wow. The happy positive side can't even come up with a rebuttal to that beginning phrase. Well, here are the, shall we say, highlights of the night.* Please, Higher Being Whomever You May Be, don't let me become the 50 year old in a black evening dress and billowy scarf that shakes her thang to a Beatles tune not 2 feet away from the DJ's face. (Nothing against the Beatles, mind you...)
* Note to Guys: I don't care how many girls you bring into the club, or how many (all of them!) leave you alone at the bar. When I'm ordering a drink or running to the bathroom, and quite obviously trying to ignore you, shut the hell up and leave me alone. Or, buy my drink for all the mental anguish you've caused, THEN shut the hell up and leave me alone.
* Note to Girls: The "fake ring" trick works well. Wear a ring that could be mistaken at-a-glance for a sign of commitment on your middle finger. Then, when the jerkoffs rear their ugly heads as in the above situation, make like you're wringing your hands, deftly slip said ring onto said finger o' commitment, and voila! Off the market in no time flat, without having to explain for 20 minutes that yes, you are very happy with your current boyfriend and no, you don't think that would change with one night of nookie with a random chump at a bar.
* Dancing is a fuckload of fun. Regardless of the fact I look like a challenged hula girl, I still enjoy the hell out of it.
* Hoegaarden with lime. Bad idea. Tastes like hot dogs. Drinking hot dogs bad. (Unless you're multi-tasking at a baseball game...)
* Yes, I am sweet. No, that doesn't mean I want your pants. Giving you a cigarette is not an indication of interest. In fact, the less I smoke and the more you smoke, the better. I'll live longer. (In theory.)
* My friends rock. Point blank.
* It's never a good a idea to put glo-bracelets in your bra. No matter how much you shield them from strangers.
* To Dickheads Number #41, #42, #43: Yes, as matter of fact, I *am* "all that". I have better things to do after a night in bar than shoot the shit or relpy to "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy" with two assholes that are drooling on themselves and one that dumped a drink down his shirtfront.
I know it doesn't seem like I had a good time tonight from the above, but I really did. Hanging out with the crew rocked, and the rest amused me in a "America's Funniest Home Videos" type of way. Bless your hearts, all you barfly Bob Sagets.
picked from the vine by sv @ 2:36 AM
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