Reason I Hate Shopping #842 and #956
Here's a great idea: go shopping for two things for which I hate to shop for AT THE SAME TIME.Spurred by a bit of confidence and a severe desire to go swimming, I went bathing suit shopping today. Last weekend was the first tube float of the season, and packing for it led to the discovery that the elastic was shot in one suit, and the other's support has gone the way of the dinosaur. I also decided I needed a few new bras, since the current ones have been working their cups off for years.
For those that haven't met me in person or haven't gotten the subtle (or not) hints, I'm a pretty buxom woman. Have been since a freshman in high school. So, the recent weight loss didn't take anything away from the chestal area. Not many bathing suit designers build for the well-endowed, and bras for my size are almost always inspired by grandmothers (nothing against them, mind you). It's always a depressing, frustrating, humbling experience. Today was no exception.
After picking through yards upon yards of crap in the lingerie and suit section, I warily made my way to the dressing room with a few selections that I thought might work.
Oh, how very wrong I was.
None of the bras were padded well enough to concel "office nipple", and some retail genius had attached the tags in a way that prevented the straps from being adjusted to fit properly. Even if they had been adjusted, none would have kept The Twins from bouncing worse than a giant fun ball. Out of necessity, though, I picked one that is tolerable-ish.
The bathing suits were worse. On the bottom, the larges were too large and the mediums too small. On the top the extra larges were too large and the larges were too small. Fucking Goldilocks syndrome. But unlike that lucky bitch, I never found anything "just right".
I retreated and licked my wounds with a new tank top instead. Those always welcome me with open arms, unlike the coldhearted bitches of swimsuits and bras.
picked from the vine by sv @ 4:59 PM
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